arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize