You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
