chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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