he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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