I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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