thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
