She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
