Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
