Pappa wants mamma naked
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
