i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
