I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
