OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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