The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
