Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
