We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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