I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize