But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
