Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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