am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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