I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
