i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
