Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
