I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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