i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
