Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm always down for nudity.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
