your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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