yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
