We won't sleep together?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
