Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
