This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
operation harelip BJ is a go
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
