True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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