it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize