just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
