What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
