problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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