Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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