Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
