have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
