people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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