i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
