I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
