we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize