This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
