I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
