i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize