i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
