I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I enjoy the company of your penis
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
