well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
