is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
