You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
