There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
