bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
