handjob tips. give me some.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
