This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
