and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
