You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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