so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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