Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
