it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
